Words from others…

I have found on a daily basis we as humans need to hear positive words. Sometimes I hear them in song lyrics. I read them in novels. Or I search the Internet for a quote that is fitting and every once in awhile someone tells them to us. We need these words. When we come across them they resonate with us and we apply them to what we have going on in our lives. They bring us hope, positivity, or clarity. Words from others have a huge impact on us. On our psyche.

Some times people say something that is exactly what you need to hear and sometimes they will say something that brings you down. I try to hold myself to the standard of being honest, even when people don’t want to hear it. I feel like a person can not have personal growth if they do not understand how they’re perceived by others. Honesty isn’t always nice. Majority of the time, true honesty, is not something we want to hear. It is something that we choose to ignore or we try to make excuses for. While others opinions of us should not define how we perceive ourselves, I believe we should take them into consideration when evaluating our behavior. We can be blinded by our rational for our behavior.

With all of that being said, holding myself to a certain standard is one thing but, I tend to hold others in my life to that standard as well. That is something I’m working on. Just because I’ve set a standard for someone I care for doesn’t mean they’ve set that same standard for themselves. That’s where all of these positive and negative words come in to play. Some people are not nice or honest. Some people aim to hurt. There is a difference in telling someone an ugly truth and personally attacking them. I’ve aimed to hurt before because I’ve been hurt. I’ve also delivered ugly truths in poor form. But I try to focus more on the positive. Positive words.

On our darkest of days all we need is something positive. We all have demons, we all struggle and we all our fighting our own fight. I’m working hard to overcome obstacles that have occurred due to circumstances beyond my control. I’m also trying to forge a new path for my life because of these circumstances. While I’m not where I want to be and I get defeated at times, these positive words help me get through.

Think about the words you say before they are spoken. Don’t be so quick to judge. Remember that the standards you’ve set are not the same as everyone else’s. And always check on your strong friend.

This is why I blog…

My life has been hectic the past few weeks. Between trying to hold myself accountable on this fitness challenge, starting a new job, traveling, and trying to rest. I have been tired and in this sort of lazy funk. I have not even bothered to try to write anything because of this funk. I am forcing myself to get back to being productive and one way is to publish another blog. I feel productive and accomplished when I put myself out there and get responses. Writing is something I thoroughly enjoy.

I have had a lot of people compliment me on my writing and blog since I started. I have also had the opposite response. Under handed comments, snide remarks and judgmental looks during conversations about my blog. I knew this would happen and I was prepared for it. However, I wanted to share with everyone the reason I started this. If it becomes a source of income and a career path for me then that would be amazing. If it doesn’t I will be okay with that too.

I believe that some things in your life should be kept private. Not everything needs to be on social media and be public knowledge. There is a lot I do not share. What I do share might be considered over sharing at times and if so…Sorry! Some people may get tired of my yearly post on the dates of my surgeries or get tired of hearing about my failing health. The one thing my health and this life has taught me is that kind words of encouragement can get you through the hardest challenges. Hearing stories from others about how they have faced similar situations and how they felt during them and their process to make it through has helped me tremendously. It’s inspiring. I know that I want to inspire, make a difference, and help others. Even if it’s one person I do this for in my whole life then I will be okay with that.

A few weeks ago I got a message request on instagram. It was from a girl named Mary who is around my age and has a congenital heart defect. She was needing a pacemaker. She was doing her research but when you research into pacemakers and defibrillators you tend to find results for more of the elderly community. It’s difficult to find information on 20 something’s getting ICDs, implantable cardiac devices. She turned to social media and was typing in hashtags. That is how she found me! I do not set my profile to private and this was one of those reasons why I do not. She came across this post…and then a few others I’ve posted. This post however was an extremely personal post. I made it mainly for myself. It was to help me realize just how far I’ve come and how much I’ve overcome. When posting it I knew it was for me but had hoped one day it would reach someone. Well it did! Mary and I exchanged stories and I answered all of her questions on my experience with getting my ICD. I also had informed her that my Aunt recently had one put in and she is only in her 40s. After we talked and she felt better about what she was facing, I realized I did exactly what I had hoped for when I posted that Instagram. I helped someone. It wasn’t in a big way but it made a difference.

The past few weeks I’ve kept up with Mary on social media and her surgery went great. She is now healing and getting used to life with a pacemaker. It is a bit of an adjustment and certain aspects of your life completely change but you eventually feel normal again. Being able to use my experience to help others is such a rewarding feeling. This is why I blog.

I blog because I want to help others. My blog isn’t always going to be about fitness challenges or trying new things. It is also going to be about those difficult things in life that people have a hard time talking about. It’s about self love, finding yourself, and getting through the hard times. I don’t want to be successful and have nice things from life. I want to make my life mean something by helping others. Putting myself out there and making someone’s life better. Making my life better and making this world a better place. That is why I started this blog. Because it makes me and my soul happy.

Half way point…

Hello all,

Here we are at week 4 of 8. The half way point. Sticking to eating high protein and healthy has been hard for me. I love food! I live to eat. I’m always hungry. My appetite has intensified with working out. I’ve wanted to eat everything in sight for the last 4 weeks.

This week I’m trying to meal prep again. My diet will consist of chicken burrito bowls, chicken teriyaki bowls, boiled eggs and protein pancakes! I’m trying to narrow down my recipes before making them tomorrow. I’ll share them after I decide! I will also confess that I have let myself enjoy ice cream more than I should’ve this weekend.

I’m sticking to my pure barre work outs. I have to say it is kicking my ass! Tonight I took the empower class with my girl Jordyn, Jojo, teaching and holy cow!!! I am sore already. I am taking more classes this week than the previous two weeks. Tonight, tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday! I’m going to let Friday be my rest day for the week. Saturday I am going to do a workout myself consisting of :

50 jumping jacks

20 push ups (these are still difficult for me with the pacemaker getting in the way)

25 squats

25 sumo squats

25 crunches

30 bicycle crunches

15 Russian twists

And a 40 second plank

It’s not the most intense but it’s effective! I’m starting to notice small differences with my body and my muscles. I’m accepting the fact that I’m building muscle, but I will probably always have chicken legs. I promised some progress photos. While I can see the changes, because I look at everyday and know my body, you may not be able to see it. That’s okay because we’re just now in week 4 of 8. I can’t wait to see what becoming a little stricter with my diet and adding more routine workouts will do! While I’ve always been thin and I’m still thin with working out but, I am building muscle. I am becoming healthier and I am feeling better. I’ve lost inches and gained muscle. My scale is reading 136 and my pants are tighter in the thighs but loose in the waist. It’s all incredibly rewarding and worth the effort!

Keep an eye out for my chosen recipes tomorrow and a new song of the week on the blog!

Hustle for that muscle- Week 1

Today starts week one of the 8 week fitness challenge I have set for myself. In my previous blog, “Bikini body not ready”, I talked about body image issues and how people of every size, make and build have them. My body issues stem from being, in my opinion, too thin. I am doing this challenge and setting these goals for myself. Letting you in on my journey is a big step for me. It makes me feel vulnerable and I hate to be vulnerable.

Week one is always the hardest. You are starting new habits and creating a different schedule for yourself. Week one is going to be even harder for me because I won’t be in my normal routine. I am traveling this week to a wedding. I wanted to make sure that the workout I started out this challenge with was one I could do anywhere, so I don’t have any excuses. I also need to ease myself into getting back into shape.

My main goal is not to lose weight but rather gain muscle and tone. In order to gain muscle I need to change my diet. I soaked that in this past week and might have over indulged with Easter candy and girl scout cookies. I plan on meal prepping for the rest of this challenge but this week that isn’t going to happen. I know that I have to increase my protein intake to help with my muscle gain. Also I have to eat less of those sweet sweet thin mints. So I am going to challenge myself, while traveling, to eat the healthiest possible. I did start out today with a healthy breakfast. I also made a healthy dinner.

So here is my work out for week one:

10 Jumping Lunges

10 Burpees

10 Jump squats

20 Sit-ups

20 Mountain climbers

20 Calf raises

30 Russian twists

30 Jumping jacks

30 High Kness

and a 1 minute wall sit

Repeat x3 ( that one I will ease myself into)

Every fitness challenge needs before, during and after photos. I am going to post these photos but please excuse my messy hair, no make up and complete vulnerability.